What IF....

What IF i'm been born as a boy?
What IF i'm born without a certain body parts?
What IF i'm been born with a golden spoon?
What IF i have never met you?
What IF i have been more smarter?
What IF i'm deaf?
What IF i'm blind?
What IF i'm mute?
What IF i get knock down today and never got to tell my loved ones i love them?
What IF i struck lottery and become a millionaire overnight?
What IF i mudered someone out of anger?
What IF i don't get to say sorry to the person i let down and he/she is gone?
What IF we never been close friends, will we still hurt each other so much?
What IF we have never been together, will we still be friends?

Life is always filled with tons of What IF.. and we humans often think, What IF this What IF that... however, is there really a need to think? humans got to be forward moving and forward looking... the past is always a lesson learnt to prevent from making the same mistake in the future... but how many of us still commits the same mistakes all over again? it's contridicting aint it? but this is life... maybe thinking of the past let people find some excuses to seek comfort in them...

What IF my grandparents are still around?

was on the way home after wednesday lesson which ended at 6pm... took 174 and lighted at the church bus stop at boonlay... was waiting for bus 99... the bus seem particularly long to arrive that day when i overheard a conversation between a grandmother and her grandson... that brought be back thinking right there... grandparents... i do not have any particular memories of them at all huh... both my father's side and my maternal grandmother have passed on when i'm a year old... leaving only my maternal grandfather... however, he was a person who favourite boys over girls... there wasnt any interaction between me and him at all... still remembered he would drive to my house every weekend and bring my brother over for a stay... but never me... i questioned my mother and got the answer...

my mother used to tell me how my grandmothers used to carry me and praising me non-stop... but sadly, i never get to hear it from them myself... i sat there wondering, how was it like to have grandparents fetching you after school, bring you out to eat, sitting around them while they tell you long time ago stories, give you advices when you needed one, tell that your secrets that you won't even let your own mother know and just sitting around chatting... my mother trained us to be independent since very young... i still rememeber walking myself to school during kindergarten which is infront of my house and only having my babysitter to look out the window making sure i reached... all of the times i see parents/grandparents fetching their own child from the school gate... how i envy them, making me wonder... where is mine? maybe thats the reason i turned bad huh? resort to bad habits, hanging out late, mixing with groups of people i know i shouldnt be with and even yelling my parents with vulgarities... man! how i'm glad all these are over... i realised how stupid i am and childish i have been.. learn to be more cherish of myself, control my temper and being more responsible i guessed... but just wanna say, parents not being there for you is not a reason to turn bad... it's all up to yourself, how you think and how you handle the situation...

grandparents are always the pillar of the family i guessed... i used to go over to my maternal grandfather's house like a routine... all of us, all my mom's brothers and sisters... we would just sit there and chat... no need to do anything... just be there... i guessed many of you still do that dont you? but once my last grandfather passed on... hmmm... i guessed it has been months i ever stepped in to that house... =)

just wanna say.. treasure the person around you... sometimes you get to experience family ties that others might not get to experience in their whole life... there are times when you think that they are a nuisance... but let's stop and think, how much time do you all get to spend with one another according to the high standard of living nowadays... everyone is fighting hard for living and time just goes by quickly... slow down and take a look around you, you might find something that you least expected to... =)

24 April...

monday!
first day of school! but 8am lesson.. so drag myself out of ta bed.. lucky for the first day, dad is able to send me to school.. so yup.. new school compound today.. my department had merged with the other department and here we goes... from blk 18 we moved to blk 52.. the school of humanities... ok.. i SERIOUSLY preferred my old blk 18.. its near the sports complex, the co-op and the library.. best of all is my canteen two that is right below blk 18.. oh man... sigh...

25 April...

Tuesday!
first day of training.. i can say, it din go well.. chaos is everywhere.. with attitude freshies making it even more difficult... and it wasnt easier for me being the girls' trainer as it is part of job of a PR... so yup.. andy came and helped to calm the situation down.. seriously for those that know me.. i'm a bad tempered person.. so yup.. thanks kor! for helping me calm the situation and the valuable advices from u as the ex-PR.. had the debrief.. again, public speaking.. voice still shaky... opps.. i missed out something! the "malaysian" parking... ahahhaha.. nice one huh kor? =X

26 April...

Wednesday!
nuthing much.. had lesson from 4pm to 6pm.. yup as usual..

27 April

Thursday!
onli had lesson at 3pm.. but reached school at 1pm thinking that there is tutorial but nope... so went lunchie at canteen two.... yup.. 2nd training... wheee... things went off quite smoothly.. freshies are cooperative after the debrief on tues... so yup not a bad training.....

28 April

Friday!
omg.. a full whole day of lesson.. finalli its the weekend.. time for a nice good rest.. hehehex.. yup.. was on the way home when i met van and xiu! ahahahhaa.. yup.. so together we went home taking the same bus...

sorry for my post being so brief... shall try to update more next time ya?

17th april

was in school for CCA Fiesta briefing.. then went IMM with xiu, ate lotsa thingy before going Giant and bought my favourite chesse hotdogs home...
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18th april

nothing happened... at home slping the whole day.. coz i know i wont be able to have enough slp for the rest of the week...
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19th april

went ginza in the morning with xiu... went to aunt's shop there got the necessary materials i needed to decorate my notice board... then went back school and start the work going... wanna thanks xiu for coming down to help out with the noticeboard... =DD

*me, very proud of my new noticeboard*

20th april

went out of the house at 5pm.. met xiu and headed to harbourfront.. then met friends... off we go to sentosa... a fellow course mate's birthday and her lover is my gd friend... so we help decorate the room and help surprising the birthday girl... had dinner at the siloso beach small island.. you know? after u cross the bridge.. the small island.. yup.. hads lotsa fun luffing... and yup.. thanks van once again for sending me home.. need us to chip in petorl money must say hor.. always sending us home.... then reached home.. decided to write notice for the board.. by the time finish.. it was near 2am...
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21th april

woke up super super early today and headed to school.. its CCA Fiesta day... lotsa new freshies.. saw my junior, vanessa... hmmm.. not bad huh.. the intake of new freshies today is 57 members... cool.. was toking throughout the first few hours of the events.. doing my job as a PR.. explaining and pulling in members... guess i'm able to speak out more freely now... thanks enen and xiu on decorating the booth! =D after 2pm, off me, enen, huiqi,ah bok, mingyao to help out ms leong for the telematch... this year's orientation is SUPER big and eventful... not like any of the last year... today the CCA Fiesta is just so so happening... yup.. dead beat... went home.. makan.. snooze till 8pm... not forgetting.. thanks xiu for the breakfast... =DD

15th April

met up with ChinnYi at 4.50pm for our journey to westmall... supposed to meet up with WeiQi and Desmond aka "boss" at there.. at the last min, changed to Lot1... wad we doing there? sushi dinner! hahahaha.. it's been long since i ate sushi.. the restaurant was almost packed and i saw Cwystal's classmate there as well.. hahahaha... thanks to her and Boss's friend who also working there we got a beri big discount and then headed to Kpool...

omg.. the place was like a freezer, we were shivering when we stepped in... as wad ChinnYi says, a place for the polar bears... lol.. so we din stayed long.. left around 9pm.. headed back to jurong point with them.. grabbed some drinks, bought a gift for Qi and backed to ChinnYi's house we go...

hahahhahaa.. wad is all of us doing at her house? of coz la.. whole night mah jong... hahahhahaa.. so we play play till nearly 3 am before switching game to cards... lol.. super super cold/lame funny funny stuffs coming out of Boss's mouth making us luff like mad and nonstop... sure a joker.. then the final ending game we played around 4am? MONOPOLY... hahahahahah.. guess i had about 4 years din play le ba... lol.. lost all my chips to Qi for the card games but i made him declared bankrupt for the monopoly... hahahahaha... how pro i am... =pp

yupp.. so the game ended just nice going 6am.. so time to went back.. so off they went to wait for bus at the bus stop while i walk home [ its just a road across], changed, zZzzzzz....

ok.. realised my post about last night is too brief... let me gif u a post of more detailed one......

So.. dont be puzzled why my name is typed there.. i'm not refering myself to the third person.. From here onwards is a post typed by ChinnYi... hehehex.. =PP

All sort of unexpected things popped out last night.

Ha. First, Yahmei asked me if I wanna join them (Weiqi and Desmond,ex-sembawang sec boys) for dinner at sakae sushi. I went reluctantly. OOpx. But well, I'm glad that I went because I havent had such an enjoyable night ever since 2003. lolx.

During dinner, the atomsphere was quite tensed up as Yahmei and I talked about people and situations which the boys are not familiar of. Same to them, they talked about people who dont really know well. Lolx. So we were sort of in different world.Until we mentioned about this particular 'fellow', which the four of us agreed totally that he is a piece of lame shit, then our night got to lighten up by a little.

Headed to K-pool after the-70%-off dinner. Lolx. Yahmei's and Desmond's friends are working there. So we got such an incredible treat. Pool-ing was fun but the air-con there made me feel like I'm in North pole together with the Polar Bears. Lolx. So the game didnt last long as we were FREEZing.

They suggested to play mahjong overnight, at my house. We agreed and came back to BoonLay. Weiqi and Desmond were damn lame/cold on certain stuff that I couldnt stop laughing. LOLx. Weiqi is always a good comedian and an excellant buddy to be with. But the game of mahjong didnt last us through the night. We played 'bluffing' with two decks of poker cards, blackjack and MONOPLY.. Lolx. It seems like I love this game so damn much that whenever I've the chance to, I'll suggest people to play this game. It never gets bored if you play it once in awhile. The person who invent MONOPLY is such a genius. LOLX.

What's more interesting is during bluffing. Weiqi was determined. LOLx. Over-determined, I should say. We used two decks of cards so there were a total of 104 cards. I threw all my cards out first, so I'm the First Winner of the game. They insisted that I'm a 'pro bluff-er'. That's why I won. LOLX. But well, if you look at it from the other point of view, they're the ones who trust me so much that I got my way through even when I bluffed. So it doesnt mean that I'm a 'bluff-er', just that for some-unexplainable-reasons, people just TRUST me so much.

THIS IS THE NUMBER OF CARDS that Weiqi has toward the end of the game. (ALL the cards u see in the picture.) *Laughing my ass off* His hand aint big enough to hold all the cards so Yahmei ,who is standing beside him, had to help. LOLx Out of 104 cards, he has a minimum of 80 over cards. Des and him were the last two person of the game. Weiqi insisted that he'll win the GAME. What the.... We told him that it'll be never-to-end game, but he said confidently that he'll win Des. They spent about 20 minutes bluffing each other. LOlx. That's absolutely dumb. Des seems to have a serious problem in bluffing Q(s). Every single time he bluffed Q(s), he would be caught.

MONOPLY's time ! After much persuasion, Weiqi finally gave up with an excuse saying that he's a lousy liar. Yahmei is the FINAL Winner for Monoply. lolx. It has been years since they last played monoply. Yahmei owned the Red lands with 4 houses on one of the lands. Ha. Des and Weiqi kept entering her land. She said that I'm stressed with I'm playing Monoply. Ha. I guessed I just too engrossed in the game. LOL. I was lucky, I didnt step into her house as often as the guys did. Lolx. Jailing her is what everyone's thinking, one of our common aim/wish. LOL. So that we didnt need to pay rental. Lolx. But she's lucky, she always get of of jail fast/free because she managed to throw double.

Ha. The night was filled with tonnes of fun, joy and laughter. I had enjoyed their company. Dont think there will still be such chances in the near future. *sadden* Weiqi is going back to Brunei in coming Monday until dont-know-when. Wishing him all the best from the bottom of my heart. I'm sure Yahmei thinks the same way. ^^

Above is an extract i got from my bestie ChinnYi's blog entry... This shows that how much she enjoy the night with me! hahahahhahahahhaaha!!! =DD

today.. met xiu 430pm to get ange's present before heading to her birthday bbq at her cousin's condo... so after buying.. reached there at 630pm, met van and proceed to the bbq venue... a lot of unknown people but we still settled down sitting there chatting.. then fu kang arrived followed by kristen, yanping and andy... so ya... ate, chat, craps... then came the singing of birthday songs.. so many plans to throw the birthday girl, ange into the water coz the bbq is at the pool side.. yup.. so they successfully threw her in becox it is quite predicted aint it? hahahhaha... then kang was off into the pool too... best... then m standing there chatting was suddenly carried up by our dear andy!! off in to the pool i went along with him!!! omg.. and u know wad i'm wearing.. jeans and t shirt!!! i wasnt planning to touch the water at all! so ya! a wet chicken i am... then off to the toilet and try to dry myself up.. and lucky andy gave me his jacket or i will be shivering becoz it was cold when the air blew me... so ya.. send me right to my doorstep... expected... dad asked, and told him.. he couldnt stop luffing... yada yada...


hope u enjoy the day my dear girl... a relaxation i guessed before the examination... and its been long since we hugged each other! enjoy your day! -smiles! and mission accomplished... =PP

hmmm.. well.. lets see.. nothing much to update... just a plain simple weekend that passed... yup.. got my body clock back le.. dun wan to do any last min tuning back coz it aways doesnt work.. in the end getting myself even super tired when the sem starts.. so now.. sleep super early sometimes and woke up this past few days at 8am... the most surprising thing? i didnt take any afternoon nap.. wah.. that's rare of my record.. this week going 'enn bbq on wednesday... next week, going back school to do my board deco, cca fiesta and waiting for school to reopen.. haix.. my time table... dunno to say it gd or not.. the shortest brk i have is 2 hours and the longest? 4 hours.. man.. wad am i going do in school.. haix.. attachment this year will be different too.. panick... ya ya... haix... 2 more weeks........................ my life would starts to get busy...

7th April

went out of the house at 5.30pm.. supposed to meet xiu at the Lakeside Mrt station... we were heading towards Orchard Mrt to meet fu kang, kristen & van.. then we moved on to taka, waiting for sasa, yanyi, ching guan & cwystal... then actually supposed to have our dinner at the crystal jade it was just too packed so we moved on to Marche for dinner with yanping joining us... event of the day? VAN'S birthday post celebration... hehehehex... such such such big group of us since so long.. so while eating, ange joined us too... and a beri big surprise of the day, andy turned up with a cake in his hands! hehehhex! all thanks to me managing to find andy ta appear.. =pp had lotsa fun.. lol.. there is 13 of us so is unavoidable that we created so much noise in the restuarant.. then we even sorta disturbed the next table youngsters as we sing along to their bdae song for friend... hahahaha.. aint we just skin itchy... blehs...

so we stayed there till 11pm, we decided to chill somewhere else.. however, by then cwystal, kristen, sasa, yanyi & ange have decided to head home and ching guan off to club.. so the rest of us "pop" in to andy's car and headed to west coast park mac..

wao! we sure can talk.. left the mac at 2am.. andy dropped fu kang and yanping at clementi for their transport home before sending me, van & xiu back becoz we belong to the west side.. hahahah.. so first ta alight, xiu.. next, van... me? nope! was stuck with him.. hahahhaha! say dun wan let me go home, really dun.. so we headed to a coffee shop near my house.. drink something and headed back to the car, drove around somemore before settling at my block downstairs and chat.. the chat ended at 4am in the morning! wah! becoz i needed the toilet ah.. =X opps... hahahah.. and within that night my "daddy" become my kor kor le.. hahahah.. so nice~ =DD

why isit that YOU always like to come into my room early in the morning while i'm in deep sleep and yell at me till i awake... does doing this give YOU the pleasure... it's just such a super simple thing... if everytime YOU come in to my room just to yell at me.. i rather YOU never step into my room ever again... if the sight of me just irks YOU so much... in the first place... why bother.. why bother... i just dun understand at all... you could have prevented all this 18 years ago...

today.. went back school for ta sports camp event... do i really look childish or wad.. when i reached the school.. the ushers all tot that i'm the new year 1s and said to me.. "please proceed straight and turn left for the sports camp." HAHAHAA! TOO BAD! i'm a year 2! blehx... =p

so ya.. the sports camp event is from 230pm to 630pm.. but i reached school at 9am! u all must be thinking, "siao ah! go school so early for wad??" hahahhah.. yup.. today is spring cleaning day for the club house... yup.. repaint the walls, throwing unnecessary stuffs, packing/organizing stuffs, clean the window and rearranging the furniture... hmm... so we start packing at 10am.. [was slacking for an hour, looking at the sports camp assembling] finished the chores at around 1pm then headed to canteen 2 for lunch...

right after lunch, changed in to attire for the camp events... i done so much public speaking today... all together add up is more that what i had say for the past 18years.. gave briefing and instructions... got sunburn.. so long nv see sun le... now face super red.. however, halfway through, the rain came.. so all of us has to shift to lecture 26 for bad weather activities.. usual public speaking, then demostrations then headed home super tired... yawns...