read your blog entry.. got this super strong feelings that you are toking about me.. get to know ur thoughts and feelings... but just wanna clear this misunderstanding when u read that post that not a single words in that thursday entry i am referring to you.. coz i know we have a talk on it already previously.. nv in my mind that come across to me i'm writing about you.. but if you thinks i am.. i have nothing but sorry to say.. and your entry hit me real hard.. and so i guessed only the true friends will say the most truthful and hurtful things...

guess when i am hiding myself i create misunderstandings...and all that many factors added to it.. the school work, the club activities, the feedbacks i got, the less seeing of my family, the days that i hvaen get a good night slp.. all this are just slowly and slowly sending me back to a person i not know of.. really needed the holiday to come soon.. already on the verge of breaking down...

when one feels the people around dun really understand, the workload never gets less, the sense of tiredness emotionally and physically becomes overpowering and difficult to fight over it.....

it been soooooooooooo long since i posted huh? guess it will be a long post today just to make up for the lost of posts...

firstly, as everyone can see.. i changed a new blogskin.. was jus surfing the net and decided that it is time for a new skin.. so ta ta! here is it.. =D

monday
hmmmm... lessson at 830, reached school quite early.. was 5th to be in the class... so one by one people started coming in and so the lesson starts... have quite an entertaining lesson i guess? daryl was toking non-stop and being very very sarcastic by calling someone a koala bear.. evil daryl.. then math lesson in the afternn was slack.. we are suppose to do discussion for the math learning corner for set up on fri.. but we did most of the discussion so yupp..

after school, went home got my sling bag the milks gave me on bdae the side has torn becoz i carried too heavy stuff.. so yup... waited for mum and headed to bukit.t shopping again... the uncle say repairing it will be expensive.. bout 20 bucks? so mum and i decided jus to fix it a little to tide me over the rest of 2 weeks of school.. then i can use my holiday to hunt for a new bag.. had dinner and i had chocolate ice ka chang... it doesnt taste weird... it taste nice actually.. but when it melts.. it taste blend.. went shop & save with mum.. grab a couple of things and it is home sweet home... had a very very long talk with mum about my future.. told her that i am interested in criminology.. and might want to take a dip for it after i graduate.. and many other things.. she told me the hopes she has for me and wun mind to spend any amount jus as long as i wan to study..

tuesday
school as usual.. morning.. financial management class.. got back my result and surprisingly i passed.. so got a total marks for my class test and first test is 31/50.... not so bad huh? not border line.. over 30.. =PP jus dun wan repeat this module coz i truely hated it.. hahahhaha... ok.. no training.. had an i&e event.. was the referee.. then home... not resting, prepared for my lesson on wed, music and movement the last lesson and my mentor has to assess it... slept quite late...

wednesday
the day is here.. woke up at 630am reached at 830.. greeted by the children.. my mentor didnt come till 11am.. before that i was worried that she would not turn up.. but luckily she did.. so while waiting for her i conducted my first math lesson.. hhehex.. u guys nv seen my conduct lesson before huh? shall put some pics here.. then conducted my music n movement.. still dunno whether i done it well or not becoz my mentor was busy that day to debrief me.. so went home feeling a heavy stone off my load... hahahahha!

thursday
lesson only starts at one.. and u know what..? reached the bus interchange at 12pm.. and the bus onli come when at 1230.. what the... so i was late for class obviously... but well.. the lecturer is a super nice person so no harm... training at night.. was freaking pissed off.. went for run at track 3 rounds.. for people who know me.. i dun run one ok.. then did 50 sit up.. jus to release my anger before i freaking yell at somebody...

some people thinks that we being in a committee is easy.. we having authority makes us do wadever we wants.. but have u ever think.. u one person has to do the job of controling.. coaching a group of person who might be onli younger than u a year or older than u many many years.. somethimes people can be so inconsiderate that they dun use their head to think.. if u have so much complains about how we are doing things.. then i suggest u f**king get urself in the committee and prove that u can do it better than us.. which i obviously thinks not.. look at ur own attitude and how others treat u.. being in the club less than a month and i heard all the nicknames people can call u behind your back.. maybe u should do some reflecting before u reflect for others.. and u thinks that people are celebrating ur bdae.. but let me tell u.. they are jus takin the chance to to pour flour, water and the cake on u.. yup.. thats the info i can gif u..

and to others.. we are friends and we tot u people understand us more.. but not.. you all are sometimes make us speechless, cry as u all nv think of us.. when we are seriously toking to u as a committee, we nv gets the respect back.. it hard ok.. u think it is easy for us to open our mouth to u all too? NO WE ARE NOT ENJOYING IT TOO OK! you all would nv realised the heart ache we gets when the look in ur eyes shoot back at us jus becoz we are the committee speaking to u.. the crying behind you all back.. seriously.. u all dun know.. and i have always been the bad person telling the people.. no matter in camp or wad.. i hate to do that even more ok.. making myself the enermy of every one....

friday
busy busy busy friday... today is the day for setting up learning corner of mathematics.. but before that, got back my first art lesson report back.. got D and routine care B... was quite diappointed with the report as i have mentioned before the feedbacks i got from my mentor... well.. report is another thing i guess.. gotta buck up.. after all the hardwork i did.. i cant afford to fail it.... after checking out the morning shift people setting up their corner.. my grp decide that ours will not do. so some of us skipped the next lesson and begin doing stuffs to add more to out learning center.. practically was rushing here and there the whole day.. me and yishi ran from canteen one back to class.. u should have seen the hill.. hahhaha.. after all the set up, our hardwork is wasted.. the lecturer din even look at our learning center becoz there is no time for us to run through the presentation.. yup.. another disappointment for the day..

sometimes i jus wonder.. am i such an introvert that i dun mixes well with people? just feel being left out sometimes with a certain group of different friends... dunno why but feels kinda sad... why is there interaction only when it is needed? and not plainly friends asking friends out... after reading a certain post somewhere.. i just feel the distant... dunno why.. but thats how i feel... maybe it will get stronger when moving to year 3? when those that understands me have graduated and those left behind is jus ..... dunno why.. dunno how... being forgotten or not even asked.. that kind of feelings aint wonderful..

am in clubhouse now waiting for training... oh please dun rain.. i wanna play ball after all these stress... haix... boring boring boring.... 4 more weeks to the end of year 2 sem 1.. will i make it? i dunno.. time seems to pass so fast.... am afraid... haix...

sorry for leaving a thick coat of dust here my dear blog.. but am too busy to update you ehs... jus bear with me a little more... shall come back here and fill u with memories soon! =DD

Bad Day by Daniel Powter
Where is the moment when we need it the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue sky's faded to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carrying on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carrying on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carrying on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Sometimes the system goes on the blink and the whole thing it turns out
Wrong
You might not make it back and you know that you could be well oh that
Strong
Well I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You see what you like
And how does it feel, one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Bad Day by Daniel Powter
Where is the moment when we need it the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue sky's faded to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carrying on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carrying on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carrying on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Sometimes the system goes on the blink and the whole thing it turns out
Wrong
You might not make it back and you know that you could be well oh that
Strong
Well I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You see what you like
And how does it feel, one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
You had a bad day